#85 03.25 Fanatic Tulips

I had dinner on Thursday night with three women I worked with for about 8 months 20 years ago. We do this once a year. We had some fairly manic energy when we all worked together, and someone’s partner dubbed us The Fanatics, and the name stuck.

Over two decades, we’ve come to appreciate this little ritual more and more, I think, a touchstone of continuity. Among the four of us, there’s been one divorce (mine), two sons born to the two already among us (none mine), a sad late pregnancy loss, two (very different) happy marriages, a scritch scratch of different jobs, a retirement, lots of travel (two of us in particular), aging and lost parents, two boys fledged into the world, and increasing conversation about religion, faith, the meaning of death and aging, encroaching menopause, and the Younger Generation.

We’re very different, each of us, and we don’t have a lot in common, really, but there’s something very reassuring about boiling our years down into one evening’s conversation. The Big Questions about kids’ independence, shitty bosses, ached for dreams, strained connection with partners, how to support fragile and fumbling parents, horrible brushes with health issues. Joy.

One of the things I like about seeing them is feeling my mellowing refracted back from them. Being able to experience myself at every age for the last 20, flavours reduced against one evening’s heat.

It’s a generous clutch of women, in every way — with self and with hope. We’re kind to each other, even when we tease. The three of them — in very different circumstances — have been incredibly supportive of and generous toward my Uganda project.

We’ve evolved a ritual of giving each other little gifts, usually chocolate or something like that. I brought them bracelets the kids at Nikibasika made, and little notebooks, and cool soap “fortune cookies” I had stuffed with a little message. I came home with a 7 year pen, and some fantastic chocolates, and beautiful tulips. Which opened up on Sunday, in the sun, to bless my quiet weekend.

Advertisements

3 responses to “#85 03.25 Fanatic Tulips

  1. A wonderful post that sums things up very well. Of course it’s also a great tribute to the lasting links and annual pleasure of meeting and catching up.

  2. Wonderful post that sums things up quite well. Of course, it’s also a great tribute to the lasting links and annual pleasure of meeting and catching up.

  3. Love this post…it makes me realize how rarely we take time to reflect on the passage of time and the evolution of our lives.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s